I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
