I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
