If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
