You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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