highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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