So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
