Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
