you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
