My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
