Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is Oprah even human
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We need to get me chipped asap
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dear god my vagina.
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