Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
