You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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