i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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