if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
