I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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