All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
