I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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