just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
