College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
