Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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