I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize