that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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