wat bout pragnant strippers??
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
