Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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