He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
