we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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