I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
