Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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