it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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