I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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