I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
