why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
