didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my vag is so smooth its legendary
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize