Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
