and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
