my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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