You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
