I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
