It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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