There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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