The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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