well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
