is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
