Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
