I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
