I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
