If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize