I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
