Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
ttyl tear gas
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
