It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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