i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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