MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
