So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
