I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize