It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Even my vagina gasped.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
