Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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